LIFE LESSONS

Nung freshman ako sa college, yung isa kong naging parang barkada na taga-Iloilo, inaya ako saka isa pang naging parang barkada na taga-Davao naman at saka yung taga-Laguna na maupo kaming lahat sa isang sulok nung reception hall ng dorm namin (sa Kalayaan Residence Hall ito sa UP Diliman). Kahit nagtataka ako nang pansarili, go pa rin kasi nga friends e. Tapos bigla ba namang bumanat nang, "Ano ba ang meaning of life para sa inyo?" Grabe. Shocked talaga ako pero the only obvious manifestation from me was being speechless but with a Mona Lisa-esque smile sa face ko. Nabigla ako kasi hindi ko naman akalain na mga temang ganun ang pag-uusapan namin. Nabigla din ako kasi hindi ako sanay na mag-isip ng mga ganun. Freshman na ako nun (although 17 lang yata ako nun; 1980 yun), pero wala talaga akong maapuhap na experiences relating to pondering what life is about and other questions along this line. Kasi nga tingin ko sa kanila, very philosophical. E I never think of myself as philosophical. Emotional and romantic, oo. Pero philosophical, nope? Although sometimes fatalistic din ako.

Pero bumabalik sa akin ang nakalipas na ito kasi me sumundot e. Me nabasa ako. Naisip ko tuloy, i-blog ko kaya yung mga truisms sa buhay ko na kahit hindi ko naman pinag-isipan ng todo o ng mabuti, e lumulutang pa rin sa consciousness ko, at lalo na sa actions ko? Parang mga philosophies and principles in life na naging gabay ko sa buhay. Yung mga tumutulong sa akin para magpatuloy akong mabuhay at hindi maramdamang walang saysay o katorya-torya ang buhay ko.

Mga life lessons kumbaga.

Nung nasa public grade school ako, yung teacher ko sa Science class, palagi na lang ikinukwento ang daughter nya. Isa sa mga kwento nya about her was kung papano nya i-instill ang sense of discipline in her daughter. Simple lang approach nya. Lagi nya lang daw sinasabi sa daughter nya na ibalik ang lahat ng bagay kung saan nya to kinuha. Yun bang pagtayo mo from a chair sa isang kainan e you promptly push it back?

Nung nasa academe naman na ako (this was mga 1984; I immediately got employed in a private school after graduating from college in April), I witnessed this scenario of one of the school officials who I naturally gravitated to kasi mukha talaga syang mabait, who wanted to make a call pero she was outside of her office and could only do it by using someone else's phone (landline; di pa uso cellphones nun). The great thing about it was that she asked permission first if she could use the phone unit, despite the fact na high-ranking school official sya and you would expect na hindi naman na kailaingang gawin nya yun. Pero the life lesson was clear: courtesy is expected from everyone.

Corollary to this experience, nagkaroon naman ako ng co-worker (she was a teacher), na who would never sit down on her boss' chair kahit na wala naman ang boss sa office. At least not deliberately. I mean, kung talagang wala nang ibang choice.

The prayer of St. Theresa of Avila also resonates with me well. Di ba ang sense nung prayer is that "all things pass?" Yung mga ala-"everyday is another day." It teaches me optimism, lalo na pag down na down talaga ako. Pero kasabay nito, ang dasal ko lagi ay for more grace to persevere while going though the hard time.

Unbelievable but true pero si Sherlock Holmes ay kinapulutan ko din ng aral. Isa sa mga stories about him lets him ask his assistant kung ilang steps meron sa staircase na dinaanan nila just recently. Siempre, si Watson clueless. E sino nga naman ba ang mag-aaksaya ng panahon? Pero my dear Watson, ika nga, that precisely is the point! Maging observant lalo na of the bagay-bagay na commonplace. Tipong "stop and smell the roses?"

Lately, paborito ko itong life lesson na halaw sa isang sinabi daw ni Toni Morrison (Nobel laureate for lit; one of her most notable novels is 'Beloved' which Oprah made into a TV-movie). Sabi nya, and I read it of all places, sa isang issue ng Reader's Digest, na hindi daw dapat i-pursue ang happiness sa buhay. Instead, ibuhos ang buhay sa pag-share -- time, talent, love, wealth -- with others. Kung maging happy ka, it's a bonus. Pero the pursuit of happiness is not the end-all and be-all of your life. Sharing is.

Dati, naku-cute-tan lang ako kaya I would quote Blanche Dubois' (T. Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire) line: "I have always been dependent on the kindness of strangers," or something to this effect, pero sobrang tugmang-tugma ang quotable line na to sa buhay ko kaya relate na relate ako. To the point na kahit to strangers, I can afford to be generous, lalo na to the so-called little people. After all, kahit naman panloloko lang naman pala ang modus operandi ng iba sa paghingi ng tulong, iniisip ko lang ang words naman na binitiwan diumano ng Dominican saint na si St. Martin de Porres. Yung, "they may have robbed you of your money, but they did not rob you of your charity."

Siempre, hindi naman ang mga ito lang ang life lessons for me. Madami pang iba. Hayaan nyo, pag naalala ko sila, ibo-blog ko din sila.